Ok, so this is a question seeking an answer to clear up whatever gymnastics are in my head. I'm a moderately attractive guy, sincere heart, genuinely looking to love another, established. Why don't women that I'm attracted to, want me back?
07.06.2025 19:34
Ever been hunting? Thrashing around, looking everywhere, drives the game away or to ground. Successful hunters set up a stand and quietly wait for the game to find them. By “quietly wait", that means don't overdrink or act the fool. The cool, polite (no ho's or bitches), guys, get the ladies. Women aren't attracted to drunken, rude, frat boys, nor are they impressed when you puke on their shoes.
It's not about what YOU want. It's about what THEY want. Your opinion of your attractiveness is not what they see.
Approach one of the average ones. She might be impressed by you, in the presence of the stunner, picking her and will think you're really attracted. If the 1st average one says no, ask the remaining average ones next, then the plain one, and finally the stunner. As if the stunner was the farthest thing from what you want. She may be intrigued by why you didn't choose her first, and her injured pride, (I'm so hot every man wants me!) may make her chase you!
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Ask, and listen, about THEM. Repeat back points to let them know you really listened. After you're chatting, gently and nonsexually touch their skin with yours. A small, brief, touch on the hand or arm (nothing grabby) is all that's needed to form a positive impression.
Dress one step better than the average guy at wherever you're going. Be clean, dress neat, be polite, brush your teeth & hair (use different brushes - LOL). Easy on the cologne, too much makes women think you don't bathe and are trying to cover the stink. Don't smoke cigs or vape.
Stand nude in front of a full length mirror and take an honest look at yourself. What's important isn't what you want, but what the females want. Are you batting out of your league? Are you drawn only to stunners? Are you really a toad? Do you think the women you hope for, are hoping for YOU? Really?
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Don't be too fussy. A plain woman, who thinks YOU are a stunner, will treat YOU better than a stunner, that thinks you should worship her, and who treats you like dog meat. Initially, you don't want to exclude too many for not meeting YOUR standards. Instead concentrate on meeting THEIR standards.
Don't start hunting too soon. Give the frat boys time to get stupid. A neat, sober, guy is way more attractive than a sloppy drunk.
Speak softly. (In a bar, I know, right?) This makes her lean in to hear.
Like the skinny, no ass girls? Well, that's the problem. They only have that skinny figure because they're still GIRLS. When girls become women (they lose their virginity) certain changes happen to their bodies in anticipation of reproduction. The body puts a layer of fat over the baby maker. This gives women a little "pouch" below her naval that can't (shouldn't) be exercised off. Her hips get wider and the breasts get bigger. This is all natural and should be attractive.
You can also tell how much sex a woman has had by the width of the gap between her legs. Only horseback riding and sex make that dimension widen. Unit of measurement is a finger width. 1-virgin, 2-has had a bf, 3-probably has had a child, 4-ask, she says "yes", 5+ -porn star or pro.
You can spend all night buying the skinny-mini hottie girl drinks and go home alone crying, or you can pick the slightly rounder, 4 finger gap WOMAN, and not wake by yourself.
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Others hit on the “not so hot" first. She knows she's the worst of the lot, and knows you're bottom feeding. So do the others, and then they all see you as a conceited jerk.
Too many will hit on the stunner first. The stunner only ever says “No.” and then the rest know you think they don't make the grade.
Don't be “whitebread", stand out, women love just a whiff of danger.
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Take it from a man that knows.
Stop looking so hard, it reeks of desperation. Desperation is repulsive and folx can sense it a mile away. Stop looking and let them find you.
Don't be a drunk. Drink something you don't like so you won't drink a lot. Scotch tastes terrible. Buy top shelf. Have it with water and on the rocks. Top off with more water as you slowly nurse the drink. This will give both the appearance and smell of drinking, but will keep your wits sharp (and save $).
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Make her laugh. Most women want a man that makes her laugh. Learn some jokes. Funny nonsexual ones, ones with a little innuendo, and dirty ones. Save the dirty ones for last and don't over do them unless she's into it. Read your audience.
Many men don't learn the signs that a woman is interested in them. If you catch a woman's eye from across the room, and then she gives you a small smile, looks down, and then looks back, this is a sign she's open to your approach. It's called the “come hither" look.
If you say you'll call, call. Be honest.
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Sit near the Ladies. Women will pass by, smile & see if any smile back. (Do it when they leave the Ladies, they'll be able to talk then. They're too focused to chat on the way in. LOL)
If you DO score, the key to being a good lover, is to satisfy your partner, before yourself. It's not a race. In bed, winners finish LAST!
Be a gentleman, open doors, be polite, offer your hand/arm.
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If you see a group of, say, five women, on average, one will be hot, three average, and one not so hot.
The world's most effective opening is “HI, I'm _____. What's your name?” As soon as possible, give them an honest, non-sexual, complement like “I like your smile.” Don't pretend, be yourself, be honest. You can't start a relationship on lies.
Learn massage basics & rub her feet, shoulders & neck. Scratch her back across her bra strap - women ALWAYS have an itch there! LOL
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I'm over 65 and, over the years, have had several hundred women. I was a swashbuckling, swinging, biker, and for a period of ten plus years, averaged a new woman every three weeks.